what is this, a school for ants??

It has gotten to the point where I merely set something down on the table and the ants sense it, walk up to whatever it is, evaluate it as edible or not, and then climb up it or walk away. It could be a hot cup of coffee, or a book. They still check. They are too smart, and I cannot keep up with them. But i have discovered Mortein bug spray, and I definitely decimated close to 4 ant colonies in my floor on Tuesday.

I've been meaning to share this story, because this was a real turning point for me in how i view this place. One day coming back from town, I took my normal 2:30 bus (the only afternoon bus that goes to my village) but got off early to visit Lydia in her village. I left my vegetables on the bus. Damn, considering that’s my one shot at getting vegetables for the whole week. I returned to my village a couple days later, and nana handed me all of my vegetables minus a few tomatoes that had gone bad. Someone on my bus had noticed I had left them, and then, when the bus reached my village, carried the vegetables all the way to my house and gave them to my nana. And my nana kept them safe, in a bowl, awaiting my return. It is frustrating sometimes being so dependent, so reliant, on those around me. But if I allow myself to truly give into it, to just fall back and let the village envelop me, I know no feeling of greater safety, save my home back in America, surrounded by my “real” family. But how rare, how incredible, to have found this feeling on the other side of the world, away from everyone and everything I know.

Turned 24 last month! Thanks mom, for the candy. And Denise, for the wonderful book! And Jess M, for that hilarious card. Conveniently, the day before my birthday, the medical officer called me and several other volunteers, letting us know we had to come into Suva for an H1N1 vaccination the following day. Following the mass vaccination, we all went out on the town dancing to celebrate being done with the shot, being together, and, oh yeah, my birthday. It’s not often things happen like that here. Good fortune indeed.

I slept with a blanket last night, for the whole night. This is huge. This means that the heat is subsiding, the worst is over, and now we just coast into fall. That does not mean that my bure is still unbearably hot sometimes. And, in the time of most dire heat, aka 4pm, I hear the clinking of spoons against teacups. The hottest hour in my village is tea time. Do Fijians have esophagi (?) made of ice cubes? Thermoregulation of steel? Either way, it’s pretty damn impressive, even if I want no part of it.

OK, now deep thoughts by Lisa. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to enjoy the means toward an end. Like, not reading books just to say you’ve read them. Not hurrying up mountains just to say you’ve climbed them. Not cooking a meal just because you’re hungry. If you are too focused on the end, and rush through the process, you have wasted time, because the end is such a minor part of the whole! Instead, relishing each page, each overlook, each chopped vegetable along the way. Finding joy in the way you’re getting there. Because then – does it even matter where you end up? And isn’t life just one huge, long process? Isn’t the Peace Corps one huge, long process? But to find joy in each day, regardless of any outcome in the future – I think that might just be a good way to live.